lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
