Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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