apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
