you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize