you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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