So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize