Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
