I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
People in love make me want to vomit
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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