im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
