Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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