You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
