she kept yelling 'call me bella'
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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