i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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