I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
