Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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