if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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