just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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