Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
