It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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