Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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