i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
