He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
