note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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