Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
