Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize