Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
