with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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