you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
