I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
