Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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