You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
