So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
