Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
