I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
