now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
this just has baby written all over it
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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