What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
