Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
