I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
