it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
