just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
