I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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