One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
