My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
