Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
