Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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