Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
