dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
