How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
