But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
