I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
