idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
