Tell her she can't have a vagina
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
