porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
