i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You pole danced in your parka.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
