Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
