if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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