I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
