It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
